Wednesday, September 26, 2007

A Rather Lonely Feeling....

Most nights I go to bed after everyone else here in my home. The girls are often asleep by 9:00pm. Dan gets to bed usually around 10:00-10:30pm and Liam is often in bed around there too. I will get to bed somewhere around 11:00pm most nights.

However, since last Friday, Dan has been working swing shift. For those of you that don't know what that is, he works from 4:00pm to 12:00am. This is a new schedule for us and I am still getting used to him not being home when I go to bed. It feels a bit lonely without him:-( I know, it seems a bit odd considering I don't generally go to bed at the same time anyway...but I KNOW he is there! Now, the house just feels, well, less protected!

And now I have the added loneliness of one of my children gone for a few days. Fiona left this evening to spend 5 days with my parents, 2 on a train and 3 at Disneyland. This is not her first a matter of fact, she has gone almost every year since she was 1 1/2 years old(she is almost 8). So this is not a new occurrence for me. However, I find that there is an eerie quiet about the house without her here. Of course, I do have both Liam and Brenna and they are so much fun to be with, but the dynamics of the home are a bit topsy-turvey without Fiona. Fiona is full of constant energy, laughter, humor and love. Brenna is quiet, gentle, self-entertained and we are still getting to know this bright star in our life. She always shines when given the opportunity...and so these moments when Fiona is away, are very good for her. But none the less....we miss our Fiona. Just as I missed my dear Brenna when she stayed with my parents a couple of weeks ago.
Each child brings their own gift to a family. Each is precious in their own right. When one is missing from the family is felt. Although I look forward to having some special time with Brenna and Liam, I will be looking forward too to having my family complete once again.
Of course, tonight I feel this most poignantly since this is Fiona's first night away for the trip and Dan is at work. I will feel better tomorrow I'm sure. And as I get used to Dan's new schedule, it will no doubt begin to feel "normal". Tonight however, I miss my love and my sweet girl!


Lauren Christine said...

I understand completely! My husband works late hours sometimes too, and I know exactly how lonely it is to go to bed all by yourself. I find if I sing a hymn to myself and pray, it helps immensely :)

Sommer said...

Oh, I'll have to remember that:-) I do pray...especially if I'm nervous, but the hymns are not something I've done. I do watch movies though:-) Right now I'm working on Lord of the Rings!

Regina Clare Jane said...

Hi Sommer! Even though I decided not to blog anymore, I still want to make a point of visiting some of my dearest blog friends. I really enjoyed some of your last posts... you and the girls look wonderful!
I know what you are going through- my husband is often away for long stretches and that's why I end up with insomnia for most of that time. Going to bed without him, feeling that loneliness in the house, that sense of protection not there... it's hard. I find that I do make the adjustment though... it just takes time.
Thanks again for your kindness to me.