"God often takes a course for accomplishing His purposes directly contrary to what our narrow views would prescribe. He brings a death upon our feelings, wishes, and prospects when He is about to give us the desire of our hearts. " ~John Newton
I read this quote above and it really speaks to how I'm feeling and what perhaps is being brought to me by the Lord right now.
Since the Fall, we've been waiting on a home and the eventual purchase of it and have found it to be so slow. I have struggled with feeling so anxious, frustrated and down. My desire is for us to move from this small, two-bedroom apartment into this home that we really like. I find it difficult to function with the lack of space and the clutter. I have become quite discouraged, even to the point that getting into the Christmas spirit was very challenging indeed.
And yet, the Lord has always provided for our needs. He knows what is best for us and though my desires are what they are, He will bring to pass what it is He desires for us! It is often slower than we wish and sometimes different than what we would plan for ourselves...but, it is none the less the best for us.
As I write this, I realize that I need to fully surrender all aspects of my life, desires to Him, the One that brings all things to pass. I must surrender this apartment, the home we desire, our finances, the clutter and disorganization, and the raising up of our children all to Him. I need to open up to His work and His will for my life...even if it means letting go of what I think is best. I pray that my feelings, wishes and prospects will fall away and be replaced with the Lord's Will and desire for my life.